Sometimes I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I want. I want to have fun, but I want to make something of myself. I’m sick of trying to find myself, when really.. I create myself. What do I have to find except my own destiny? .. Just a thought.
There was a time where we barely talked. Where we practically avoided each other. People thought we hated each other. I was confused, I thought that our friendship was neverending. But it seemed to come to a complete halt. That spring, I was envious of who replaced me. To outsiders and insiders alike, it was reasonable. But I was being greedy. I was always so greedy in our friendship. We were inseparable. Siamese slankets were invented for us. But.. unfortunately, we grew distant. We were like two islands, safely joined by a bridge. However, the foundations began to crumble. I’m happy we can fix the bridge. Words cannot describe the relief I’ve felt these past few days. I thought I had completely lost someone who meant so much to me.
The way we’ve changed had a lot to do with the gap in our friendship. The lost time can easily be made up. And I’m sorry to have been so jealous. I understand that I’m not exactly the funnest in your perspective, or the funniest; I’m not always a blast, and I don’t meet up to your lifestyle. But what makes us different, makes us so alike. At the end of the day, I will always be here. Everyone knows. My family knows. Every time we were together, we made it fun. Whether it was fighting off drug addicts on Main Street in Middletown or mocking religious figures in the courtyards of universities. The times we laughed over boys from the Garden State or listened to Fascination by Alphabeat. The times we spent together can never be forgetten even if there’s something that came between us.. or if we got Alzheimer’s and we forget the rest. It’s sad to say that this is how I felt, but I’m happy to get it out like this, because I suck at talking without getting emotional. I hope that we can stay like this, and I’m sorry for being a bitch when I was. I’m sorry for being so green. And I’m sorry for ignoring you. The word is on your lips…
Sometimes there’s days when I just love life.
The smallest thing could happen and I’m happy for the rest of the day.
While laughing at excessive blogging, I was inspired to make my own. A bit contradictory, but what else is new.